You are here with me now.

Mary Aguilar, MSW, LCSW

This song has been haunting me lately. 

I find myself silently reciting the lyrics with you, session after session.

 Kacey Musgraves’ “Rainbow” will not leave my consciousness. The lyrics ring so clear and true – a metaphor for your pain, hurt, trauma. My tears well. You don’t yet know that the “storm” is over. Your body doesn’t know. I see the “rainbow.” I watch your beauty, your resilience. 

Your pain is so chronic. So normal. You don’t even notice.

Trauma changed your body. It doesn’t know the storm is gone.

You’ve spent so long surviving, you don’t yet know your ability to thrive and grow.

Surviving meant you didn’t get the privilege of growth… but now is your time.

The skies are cleared, it’s over. It’s in the past.

You are here with me now.

But your body thinks the “storm” is raging on.

Your damn survival skills… your coping.

They kept you alive then, but they’re killing you now.

Honor your “umbrella,” thank it for its use.

But the skies are dry now. Put your “umbrella” away.

“If you could see what I see, you’d be blinded by the colors.”

I am humbled by your story. I sit in awe at your healing and growth.

Your resilience is breathtaking.

Please, take a chance. “Take off your coat.” It’s not serving you any longer.

Your past protections keep love out.

 

The skies are clear. It’s over. It’s in the past.

I am here with you now. You are safe.

We will look at the past from safety.

We will “tie up the boat.”

We will put away your “coat.”

We will “let go of your umbrella.”

Fear keeps you clinging to your useless “umbrella.”

 

“There’s always been a rainbow hangin’ over your head.”

You were made perfectly imperfect.

You are worthy. You are valuable. You matter.

You deserve unconditional love. You deserve happiness.

Let the storm fall behind you.

Let’s put down your umbrella.

You can’t see your own rainbow from underneath.

You are good. You matter.

You are beautiful.

rainbow